I've been incredibly tired this week and when I'm tired, I'm far more likely to bull straight through a task without considering other ways of doing it. I just want things to work the first time without me having to think. Not great when you're a writer and your job is to be original and interesting.
The martial art of Aikido has often been likened to water. Not only because the movements are fluid (which they are), but because water doesn't resist - it wraps around, turns aside, redirects. Adapts. Aikido is never about resisting, because that's about strength. And there's always someone stronger. It's about redirecting, adapting, enhancing. That's one of the things I love about the art. It's actually an advantage to be small, because the ONLY to make a technique work on someone bigger and stronger is to do it correctly. Force is useless.
One of my senseis literally felt like a jellyfish when you grabbed his arm. The harder you grabbed, the harder you punched, the more relaxed he became. Then suddenly you'd be on your back seeing stars, with no idea how you got there, and wondering how soon it would be before you could breathe again.
Because brute-forcing something is a fool's game. It always ends badly, for someone.
Writing is also about being adaptable. There are pantsers and planners. Both (whether they admit it or not) have to be adaptable. (The planners have a harder time with this than the pantsers do.) Too often, people try to squeeze pantsers into a plan and force planners to be spontaneous.
The real key is to just relax. The more uptight you get, the worse your writing will be. The more you worry about whether you're doing it 'right' the more stilted your words will come out. Relax, adapt, experiment with a few different ways of doing things, change the plot or the character, or the setting, if you need to. Hell, change the whole world. You can do that, you know.
Don't force a plot or character into a set mould just because that's the way you planned it. Allow things to change if they serve the story's interest best. And don't force yourself to plan a story if doing so kills the joy for you. But, if you're a planner to the core, don't sit there and try to force spontaneity. That's an oxymoron.
There is no 'right' way to write. All of these rules you've read are just guidelines to point you in the right direction - the end of your novel or story. But you can take your own path. Flow with your own creativity. Adapt to suit yourself and your readers.
The most important thing is: RELAX and stop trying to cram yourself into some mental image of the 'ideal' writer.
I live in Australia - which tells you I have a sense of humour. We're a self-deprecating people, we Aussies. My aim is to, one day, vanish in a blinding flash of enlightenment. In the mean time, I'm doing my best to learn as many